Ashes: Chapter 2
by Tami B.
Three days after the Boone couple was injured, Rebecca was well enough to sit in her rocker for short periods of time before tiring and being forced to return her bed. Agnes busied herself around Rebecca as she sat near the hearth, mending one of Daniel's shirts. Only at Agnes' insistence did she consent to be there rather than at her husband's bedside.
"Rebecca, you ought to drink more of Cincinnatus' special herb tea," Agnes advised, pointing to the mug sitting on the table. "It is speeding your recovery."
"All right, Agnes," Rebecca said, taking a sip of the tea.
"You better tuck that blanket up around your neck. It wouldn't do if you caught a chill," Agnes cautioned, adding carrots to the rabbit stew she was cooking over the fire.
"Yes, Agnes," Rebecca reluctantly agreed, but was growing weary of being told what to do. She pulled the blanket so that even the top of her throat was covered. The only exposed portions of her body were her hands and head. It made sewing a little more difficult, but she could manage.
As Agnes rounded the table, she saw the half-empty bowl of soup. "Rebecca, you must finish this soup. It will give you strength."
Irritably throwing her mending into her lap, Rebecca glared at Agnes. "I'll eat it when I'm ready and not when you tell me," she snapped at her.
Bringing her fingertips to her lips, Agnes looked stricken. "Rebecca, I'm sorry. I'm being such a pest. I shouldn't be treating you like a child. Please forgive me," she pleaded.
Instantly remorseful, Rebecca reached for her, barely noticing as the top of the blanket fell to her legs. "Agnes, don't you apologize. I'm the one in the wrong. You've been such a good friend by caring for my family while I'm laid up and the thanks you get is me biting your head off. You stay here all day and then go home with Israel in tow. I am sorry. An ingrate is what I am."
"You are no such a thing, for goodness sake. You had every right to correct me. I'll try to be a little less bossy," Agnes promised, taking her hand "but you will finish that soup, won't you?" She batted her eyes at her. "Please."
Rebecca chuckled. "Yes, taskmaster," she replied, yielding to her friend's wishes and began eating the tasty soup.
The cabin door opened and Cincinnatus walked in while knocking. "Afternoon, Becky. Agnes," he greeted while removing his hat.
"Good afternoon, Cincinnatus," Rebecca said as Agnes nodded at him, stirring the stew.
"Freight wagon came in this morning. It took some time to unload even with Mrs. McGrady's help or I would have been here earlier," Cincinnatus explained. "How's Dan'l?"
"Holding his own. He mentions my name and mumbles, but that's about all," Rebecca answered, setting the bowl of soup down on the table.
"And how are you gettin' along?" Cincinnatus inquired.
"She's recovering nicely," Agnes replied in Rebecca's stead.
"Good. I'll just go check on Dan'l," Cincinnatus said as made his way to the bedroom.
Mingo emerged soon after Cincinnatus entered and then took a seat at the table. "He is sleeping, Rebecca. He murmured a few times, nothing understandable," Mingo informed her.
"The fever?" Rebecca asked.
"It is still there," Mingo replied as Agnes handed him a mug of water. "Thank you, Agnes."
"You're welcome, Mingo," Agnes said, sitting opposite of the Cherokee.
The three of them sat in uneasy silence as they dwelt on their own thoughts about the man named Daniel Boone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Cincinnatus checked Daniel's bandages and found the poultices weren't in need of changing. His wounds weren't bleeding and there was no sign of infection. "Dan'l, by my reckonin' you should fully recovery just like Becky said. It sure would be nice if'n you'd wake up and talk to me proper like. How about a little Blue Thunder on the house, um? Dan'l? Dan'l? Are you listenin' to me? Tarnation, man, you do try a body so. Wake up, Dan'l. All right have your own way, Dan'l. Two Blue Thunders on the house, but that's all. I'm tryin' to run a profitable business and I can't be doin' that if I'm givin' it away rather than sellin' it. Dan'l? Will you listen, man?" Daniel opened his eyes halfway in response to Cincinnatus' command.
Taking a mug of herb tea, Cincinnatus tilted Daniel's head and slowly poured the liquid into his mouth, which Daniel did drink. "Right now, this tea will do you more good than my Blue Thunder anyway." He stopped a moment then resumed, but the tea only filled Daniel's mouth and began to run out of the corners. "Oh, look what I have done. Tarnation." Cincinnatus quickly grabbed a cloth and cleaned Daniel's face and the blanket where the tea had splattered it. "I'm sorry, Dan'l. It won't happen again. Becky, will be very upset with me if she finds out I almost drowned you. It'll just be our secret. Is that a deal, Dan'l?" Daniel began to stir and sweat beaded on his forehead. Cincinnatus dried his brow with a cloth and hoped this meant he would finally regain consciousness.
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Daniel opened the door of the tavern and walked to the counter where Cincinnatus stood waiting for another customer to arrive. The patrons in the establishment drained their mugs and quietly filed out apparently not wanting to be in the same company with Daniel. Their stares and glares were disconcerting to him. These people had once been his friends, but like his son now blamed him for his wife's death. They didn't say that, of course, but Daniel knew that's what they were thinking.
"A Blue Thunder on the house, Dan'l?" Cincinnatus asked pleasantly, reaching for the jug.
"An ale will do," Daniel replied angrily.
"Where you been keepin' yourself? You haven't been around the fort lately," Cincinnatus said, pouring a mug of the brew for the tall frontiersman.
"Went to the mountains," Daniel said without humor, taking a drink of his ale.
"Have you seen Israel?" Cincinnatus inquired.
Daniel nodded and a mournful look came over his face. "I saw him. I took him huntin'. He wouldn't say much, and when he did, he told me how he hated me. I tried explainin' to him about us needin' to be together, more than ever, now that his ma was gone. He wouldn't listen." Daniel took another drink. He didn't blame Israel for his feelings. For Rebecca's sake though, he would continue to try to win his son back, even if the task seemed too great and he wasn't up for the challenge. "Cincinnatus, what am I going to do?" Daniel pleaded, needing an answer.
"More ale, Dan'l?" Cincinnatus asked as if he didn't hear Daniel speak to him.
"My mug is almost full now," Daniel said. "I asked you a question, Cincinnatus. What am I goin' do about Isra'l?" he demanded, the rage within barely controllable.
"I reckon you'll have to keep on doin' what you're doin'," Cincinnatus told him.
"Nothin' will work with him. He's too set on hatin' me," Daniel said, taking another swig of his ale. "That boy used to adore me and I took it somewhat for granted. Next to a woman's love for a man, there's no other love greater than a child's for his ma or pa. I lost that," Daniel said in frustration. He rubbed his hands together as an repressed emotions began to surface. "I lost my son's love. I lost my wife. What more can I lose? There's nothin' more to lose. Everything I ever really loved has been taken from me and I have only myself to blame."
"You haven't lost everythin', Dan'l," Cincinnatus said. "You still have Jemima."
"How long will she accept me when she learns I let her ma die? Not long. No, Cincinnatus, she's lost to me too. My whole family wiped out by a single incident that could have been prevented by the man who's supposed to protect and look out for them. Why didn't I die? It should have been me not Becky. Had I died, at least Israel would have had his ma and they would be together." Taking another drink of his ale, Daniel felt a pain in his chest. He put his hand over it, thinking that would alleviate it.
"Dan'l, you hurtin'?" Cincinnatus asked. "Need me to tend to you?"
"I'm hurtin', Cincinnatus. I'm hurtin' where you can't reach. Can you mend a soul? Can you resurrect a man's life from ashes?" Daniel asked, pointing to the fireplace where sparks and ash flew.
"No, Dan'l, I can't do that," Cincinnatus admitted. "But I can help with that pain in your chest. I just happen to have my special tea. You take this." He handed Daniel a mug of the tea and Daniel drank very slowly. "No, Dan'l, you gotta drink faster," Cincinnatus said and tipped the mug so that the contents drained into Daniel's throat rapidly.
Coughing and spitting what was left of the tea out of his mouth, Daniel became irate. "What...are you...tryin' to do? Drown...me?" Daniel asked between coughing fits.
"I'm sorry, Dan'l, it won't happen again," Cincinnatus said, drying him off with a towel. He then cleaned the counter and the floor
"See to it that it doesn't," Daniel warned sternly. He leaned on the counter, wearily rubbing the back of his neck with his hands. "Cincinnatus, what would you say if I told you that there's a chance Becky's not dead?" he asked, lifting his head to look the tavern-keeper in the eye.
"What would make you think that, Dan'l?" Cincinnatus asked, refilling Daniel's mug of ale.
"I saw her and I heard her. She called my name," Daniel said.
Cincinnatus looked skeptical. "Have you been drinkin' too much, Dan'l?" he asked.
Daniel narrowed his eyes and bellowed, "You gonna tell me there's not a chance she can be alive?"
"Dan'l..." Cincinnatus said hesitantly.
"I know what I saw and I know what I heard. There's a possibility she's still alive," Daniel insisted, trying to convince Cincinnatus.
The tavern-keeper didn't say anything at first. He just ran a hand through his graybeard. "Dan'l, it don't make any sense her being alive. You said it yourself that you caused Becky to die."
"If she isn't dead then how can she be talkin' and appearin' to me?" Daniel asked.
"How should I know, Dan'l? I just run a tavern and am a storekeeper as well. I don't know nothin' about what you're talkin' about," Cincinnatus complained, grumbling and throwing his hands up in the air.
"Gol darn it!" Daniel cried, slapping the countertop with his fist as a storm raged within him. "Doesn't anybody know?" he asked the empty tavern as he watched Cincinnatus leave through the door. Angrily, Daniel stomped to the shelf filled with mugs and supplies and began knocking them over as hard and as fast as he could. He then tipped all the tables and chairs over one by one with a fury that he didn't know he possessed. The grief, guilt, loneliness, and uncertainty pressed in on him like being tortured with a thumbscrew. He went behind the counter and threw jug after jug to the floor and some to the wall. The broken pieces flew everywhere. Although sweating and breathing hard, Daniel wasn't quite finished with his destruction. He then went to the rifle rack, and taking them down one at a time, he smashed them against the wall. Overwhelmed with emotion, he began to wail. He went to the fireplace and gathered a handful of ashes and placed them on his head. "Becky. Becky. Becky. Becky," he repeated in anguish, imitating a form of Cherokee mourning he had seen on occasion. When the death of a loved one was imminent, the male relatives put ash on their head and wrapped themselves in worn clothing, while the females wept and repeated the name of the dying for as long as they could in a single breath.
"Becky. Becky. Becky," Daniel said with tears streaming down his face. "Becky, talk to me. Come to me. I need you. Becky, why won't you come? Becky!" Daniel screamed at the top of his lungs. His answer was stone cold silence. "You're dead, Becky, and I let you die." Feeling alone and guilt-ridden, he continued to sob until exhaustion caused him to sleep.
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Mingo drank from his mug. "I thought he would have regained consciousness by now," he admitted.
"He will soon," Rebecca said with confidence. "And when he does I intend to be at his side." Her eyes began to tear. Agnes patted her shoulder. "I'm all right. Really. I just...just..."
"You just do not like to see Daniel hurt because you hurt for him," Mingo finished for her. "I believe it is called empathy, a quality I understand many wives have. They share their husband's pain'."
"And our children and anyone else we care about. Am I right, Rebecca?" Agnes said, looking to Rebecca for confirmation.
"Yes, I'm afraid that's built into us as women," Rebecca concluded.
"Given to you for a reason," Mingo explained. "What little child does not want his mother when he is hurt or sick? How else could he hope to recover without a mother's empathy?"
"My Andy seems to require more empathy than I have," Agnes said. "I turn him over to his father when he becomes too much to handle. I've heard Caleb tell him more than once to 'buck up'."
The three of them chuckled. Rebecca did so -- a bit too much. She placed a hand to her stomach and tried not to grimace in pain. Mingo and Agnes became alarmed. "It's all right," she said. "It's passing."
Both Mingo and Agnes breathed a sigh of relief. "Rebecca, I don't mean to be a pest, but perhaps, you should lie down now," Agnes hesitantly suggested.
"No, I'm fine. I'll just sit here quietly," Rebecca said as Agnes tucked the blanket about her.
"I will step outside so I will not be a distraction to your rest," Mingo said, rising to his feet.
"Good idea," Agnes said a little too quickly and judgmentally. She received the stares of Rebecca and Mingo. "Oh...ah...I mean...would you like some more water, Mingo?"
"No, thank you," Mingo said with a huge grin.
Stepping outside the Boone cabin, Mingo stretched his back and legs. As he did, he heard Israel and Andy Rand playing in the nearby woods. Their laughter seemed to echo from the treetops and for a split second, Mingo wished he could once again he be that boy who played Anetsa with the other boys in his clan. It had been one of the times in his life when he had been the happiest and most content. The game was played with sticks made from hickory and a ball shaped from hide and hair. The object of the game was to get the ball through the goal posts erected on opposite ends of the field. Since very few rules applied, the game was often rough. Almost everything was allowed: kicking, hitting, pushing, or tripping. The game had been one of the most enjoyable learning experiences he engaged in. Perhaps, he should teach Israel the game. No, he thought, Rebecca wouldn't allow it.
Looking down the trail, Mingo watched a horse and rider trot towards the cabin. The blue and buff uniform was unmistakable and so was the young man wearing it. The rider grinned and practically flew off the back of the horse to greet Mingo.
"Mingo, good to see you again," Adam Liberty said, his hand held out to him.
"Adam," Mingo said, shaking the soldier's hand. "Is that same horse you had when you left Boonesborough the last time?"
Nodding his head, Adam said as he patted the horse's mane, "He's a good horse. The general gave him to me. The two of us have traveled most of all the thirteen colonies together on one mission after another."
"He is being put to good use then," Mingo commented. "I know why you are here, Adam," Mingo told him, getting right to the point. "The documents have been stolen. Rebecca was injured and Daniel was seriously wounded."
Adam's smile disappeared. He pushed his tricorn hat to the back of his head. The cockade on the brim of the hat was adorned with a small green feather and a small white one. It indicated he was an aide de camp to General Washington. "Will they recover?" he asked with concern, knowing that his hopes for a happy reunion were dashed.
"Rebecca is on the mend. Daniel...Well...Daniel's recovery is in question," Mingo said sadly.
Balling his hand into a fist, Adam struck the porch pillar with force. "Not them. Not them," he said regrettably. "Mingo, the documents the colonel were given were a decoy. The real ones will soon be in the hands of General Horatio Gates who is running the southern campaign. They were almost killed for nothing."
"You are wrong, Adam. If the British agents believed that Daniel had the secret documents then that deception made it possible for the real ones to be delivered to General Gates," Mingo explained.
"That's one way to look at it, I guess," Adam said. "Do you think it would be all right if I paid my respects to Mrs. Boone?"
"Adam, she would certainly be displeased if you rode away without at least greeting her," Mingo said. "Come along. I'll show you in."
Mingo led Adam inside where Rebecca continued to sit in her rocker sewing Daniel's shirt. She was so occupied in her task that she failed to hear the door open or the men enter.
"Rebecca?" Mingo said to get her attention.
"Yes, Mingo?" Rebecca asked, not looking from her mending.
"Are you going to properly greet your guest or should I ask him to leave?" Mingo queried.
Raising her head, Rebecca saw the slight grin on the soldier's face. "Adam," she cried in delight, struggling to rise, but her feet were tangled in the blanket.
Agnes came running to her side fearing she would fall and re-injure herself. She steadied her by clasping her shoulders.
"Adam, why are just standing there?" Rebecca asked. "I can't come to you trapped in this blanket like I am. Come here."
Doing as he was told, Adam approached her, holding his hat in his hand. She took him into her arms and hugged him hard. Adam gingerly patted her back, fearing he would cause her pain.
"Adam, I'm not made of glass. You can do better than that," Rebecca admonished.
"But, Mrs. Boone, Mingo told me you were injured. I don't wish to-" Adam explained.
"Hug me proper, Corporal. It's your duty," Rebecca ordered.
"Yes, ma'am," Adam said, holding her closer. When they released each other, Adam worked his hat between his fingers. "Mrs. Boone, I'm very sorry for your injury and the colonel's as well."
"Thank you, Adam. We'll both be fine," Rebecca said.
Her confidence was contagious and Adam suddenly believed that the both of them would be all right. "I will remember you and the colonel in my prayers," Adam promised.
"Thank you again, Adam. Won't you sit down? Agnes, do you think you could serve some of that stew to this hungry soldier?" Rebecca asked.
"Not until I get my hug," Agnes said. Adam happily obliged her.
"The food is unnecessary," Adam said. "I don't want to be any trouble."
"Adam, are you hungry?" Rebecca asked firmly.
"Yes, ma'am, but-" Adam admitted.
"I thought so," Rebecca said.
Moving towards the stew pot, Agnes prepared to serve Adam a meal.
"What have you been up to since last year, Corporal?" Rebecca asked as Mingo helped her adjust the blanket around her.
"Mrs. Boone," Adam said, pointing to the gold epaulette on his left shoulder.
Rebecca shrugged her shoulders.
"I'm no longer a corporal. I'm a lieutenant now," Adam said proudly. "Your husband's recommendation was enough for the general to promote me."
"Of course, you are. Dan told me. I just can't help but still think of you as the exhausted corporal who showed up on our doorstep one day. Congratulations," Rebecca said. "Are you still General Washington's most honorable soldier?"
"I am one of General Washington's most honorable soldiers," Adam corrected.
"And now one of his most honorable lieutenants," Rebecca said specifically.
"They are one in the same," Adam said with a chuckle.
"You have filled out that uniform. You must have grown five feet since we last saw you," Rebecca said.
"Only a few inches, Mrs. Boone. A friend's wife let out my uniform so I could fit into it," Adam explained as Agnes set the bowl of stew in front of him with a mug of cider. "Isn't anyone else going to eat?" he asked.
"Not now, " Rebecca said. "Don't let that stop you."
"I won't," Adam said with a smile then turned serious. "Mrs. Boone, would you mind relating the incident that caused the documents to be stolen and you and the colonel to be injured. I must report this, otherwise, I wouldn't ask you to tell me."
"I understand, Adam," Rebecca said and began to tell what happened that horrible day.
By the time she had finished, Adam's bowl and mug were empty. He sat quietly with his hands clasped, resting his chin on them, and staring at the table.
"You see, Adam," Rebecca explained. "I had to tell him where the papers were hidden or he would have killed Dan. In my mind, I wouldn't exchange my husband's life for scratches written on a piece of paper. He means more to me than that."
Adam looked into her blue eyes and said, "You had no choice, Mrs. Boone. I would have done the same. Any decent human being would have. We can adjust to the loss of the documents, but losing great patriots like you and the colonel, that would be something that can't be adjusted or replaced."
"I'm grateful you understand," Rebecca said.
"Your courage will not go unnoted, Mrs. Boone. When I present my report to the general, he will have you commissioned with the rank of major and placed on his staff. You won't be a mere aide like myself," Adam said, his eyes gleaming.
"You tell the general I'm needed here - with my family," Rebecca advised with a grin, knowing her family would fall to pieces if she wasn't around. "Speaking of which, I want to sit with Dan for awhile. Adam, he's unconscious, but would you like to see him anyway?"
"If I may be permitted," Adam said, rising from the table and helping to extract Rebecca from the blanket. He then held out his arm to her in a gentlemanly fashion and escorted her to her wounded husband.
Upon entering the room, Cincinnatus rose from the chair and shook hands with Adam as Rebecca sat on the bed. She motioned for Adam to draw near, which he did. "Dan? Dan? Adam's here. You should see him. He's grown several inches. He still has that big smile and is one of the most honorable lieutenants in General Washington's army." Looking up into Adam's face, she said, "Talk to him."
"What do I say?" Adam asked.
"Whatever you want. Just think of him as the same colonel you have always known," Rebecca advised. "Good afternoon, Colonel," Adam began. "It's good to see you again, sir. Your reports and recommendation for my lieutenant's commission were eagerly received by the general. He made me a lieutenant and his aide right on the spot. I wish to thank you, sir." He felt strange talking to an unconscious man, but Rebecca had practically insisted and with all she had been through, he wasn't about to disappoint her. "Please don't concern yourself with those stolen documents. I'm sure those men will be caught before the information can do the British any good. I would say the Revolution and our winning it is assured. With France as our ally, victory is within our grasp. Just think of it; a new nation carved out by a people who sacrificed much just to be free. That's you, Colonel. And Mrs. Boone. And thousands upon thousands of others." Adam droned on as if he was inspiring the troops. But what Daniel heard was entirely different from what the young lieutenant said.
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"Good afternoon, Colonel," Adam greeted Daniel as he sat in ashes on the floor in the tavern that he had single-handedly ransacked. He slowly rose and approached the Continental soldier.
"You've come for the papers?" Daniel asked.
"Yes, sir," Adam replied.
"They've been stolen," Daniel informed him.
"Stolen? How could you let that happen? They were entrusted to your care. Do you know that this could seriously jeopardize our winning the war? We could very well lose the war and be subjected to oppressive rule from the British for some time to come," Adam explained.
"This may surprise you, Adam. But I don't care about the war. I don't care about the king. I don't care about those documents. I don't care about this settlement. I don't care about anything except for this - my wife and my family," Daniel said.
"That's pretty petty, if you ask me, Colonel," Adam criticized.
"I didn't ask you," Daniel said testily. "I don't care what you think or how you think it."
"Colonel, the general will be most displeased when he learns the documents have fallen into enemy hands. He's sure to charge you with treason," Adam explained.
"Let him. I'll even provide the rope he can use to hang me with because, like I said, I don't care," Daniel said, drawing closer to Adam. "All I want is my wife back and my son and the life I used to have before I knew about those all-fired important documents. I was assured that there would be no danger if I held those documents for you. I was lied to. I don't like being lied to," Daniel said, his face only inches from Adam's.
"It's war, sir. Terrible things happen in war," Adam said.
"Yes, they do," Daniel said calmly. "But the death of my wife wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to grow old together. Go!" Daniel ordered. "Go, do your duty. Report me if you've a mind to. I can't sink any lower than I already have. I've lost everything. Everything! Everything that mattered is gone. Turned to ash," Daniel said, taking the ash on top of his head and crumbling between his fingers. "What more can your general do to me?"
Adam stood rooted in place, gulping.
"Didn't you hear me? I said go!" Daniel bellowed and pointed in the direction he should leave.
Startled, Adam jumped despite himself and ran for the door.
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"Go!" Daniel said clearly, loudly, and the word resounded in the room.
Adam immediately stopped talking and took a step back. His face displayed shock.
"Dan? Dan?" Rebecca said, placing her hand on his face and neck. "Dan, open your eyes. Please, Dan, open your eyes. Wake up now. The time for slumber is past. It's time to hunt, Dan. Israel is waiting."
"Bec...ky?" Daniel stuttered. He opened his eyes. They were unfocused, but looking in Rebecca's direction. A quirky smile crossed his lips. "Bec..ky, are...are you...you..all right."
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"Becky?" Daniel said, smiling crookedly. "It is you, Becky. Becky. My Becky." He saw her as if looking through a fine mist, but it was his Becky. Her red hair and radiant smile were unmistakable. However, she wasn't looking her usual self, but appeared to be sick. "Are you all right, Becky?" he asked.
"I'm fine, Dan," she replied, her voice sounding as if she was speaking in a cave.
"You don't look so good. Are you sure you aren't feelin' poorly?" Daniel asked.
"If I felt any better, I don't know what I'd do," Rebecca replied. "How do you feel, Dan?"
"A sight better than I have in quite a spell," Daniel said. "I thought you were dead."
"No, Dan, I'm not dead. I could never leave you," Rebecca said, grimacing.
"Becky, what's wrong? Are you in pain?" Daniel asked with concern.
"Nothing to worry about. Just a belly ache," Rebecca told him.
With his eyes beginning to tear, Daniel reached out to her and he felt her take his hand. "I don't understand how you can be alive, but I'm..." Daniel paused as he was overcome by emotion.
"I'm very much alive, my darling," Rebecca said, thumbing away his tears. "We both are alive by the grace of God and nothing else."
"It seems I've been without you forever. Becky," Daniel said as more tears trailed down his cheeks, "would you hold me?"
Immediately, Rebecca held him close and he was comforted by her nearness. He breathed in her scent and clung to her as if she would run from him if he let go. To feel her warmth and her love was so soothing that it reached to the depths of his soul and where guilt and grief had to step aside to let it pass. His world was put back together. The life he had, he would have again. He would not have it any other way.
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Rebecca leaned over Daniel careful not to put any weight on his injured chest as she held him about the shoulders. He had his right arm lovingly on her back. The pain in her midsection was becoming too great to keep this position much longer. She slowly straightened up and took her husband's hand with hers as her other covered her stomach.
"Bec...ky," Daniel said expelling an audible breath. "Are...all...right?"
Daniel had spoken haltingly, but she had understood what he was saying. It gave her renewed hope that her prediction would actually come true. Daniel would recover and she would help him in that effort in any way she could.
"Daniel, I'm fine," Rebecca said attempting to reassure him.
"Your...face...says...pain, " Daniel observed.
"I'm well," Rebecca stated, trying to be appear convincing to a man barely conscious. She wondered how he could see her distress when he was in such a state.
This time it was Daniel who grimaced and moaned in pain. Rebecca impulsively clasped his shoulders. Then he forcefully brought his right hand up to clutch his chest. In the process, it slammed into Rebecca's stomach, which caused her to cry out and bend over in agony. With his hand to his chest, he rolled to his side as loud groans escaped his lips. Agnes and Adam helped Rebecca from the bed to the chair as Cincinnatus and Mingo tended to Daniel as he thrashed around.
Holding him down by the shoulders, Mingo kept a firm grip on him. Adam secured his legs. Cincinnatus pulled what was left of the blanket covering Daniel's chest to see the bandage had turned crimson with fresh blood. "Tarnation," he exclaimed. "All that movin' around busted open his wound."
"Is it bad, Cincinnatus?" Rebecca asked between breaths. Her own pain was subsiding but was still intense. She wanted badly to be at Daniel's side, but she knew she would only be in the way.
Agnes handed Cincinnatus bandages and he applied them quickly. "If'n he'd lie still, this would go easier. Dan'l, be still. Ya hear? Be still," he commanded.
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The pain in his chest was severe. It had knocked Daniel to the floor causing him to release Rebecca. He looked about for her, but couldn't find her. Where had she gone? Becky! He called to her but there was no answer. When the pain had eased somewhat, he tried to rise but found he couldn't. His struggles to stand were met with resistance. He made no progress as he attempted repeatedly to break free of an invisible restraint. He had to get up. Rebecca was not in sight and he had to go to her. He had lost her once. He wouldn't do so again.
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"Dan'l, lie still!" Cincinnatus shouted, holding a bandage to Daniel's chest.
"Don't yell at him," Rebecca ordered angrily, not liking that Cincinnatus spoke to her husband in that tone. Starting to rise from the chair, Agnes gripped Rebecca's arm to prevent her from doing so.
"Dan'l, be still!" Cincinnatus repeated, ignoring Rebecca's order and surprised that he did so. "Becky, you should be in bed," Cincinnatus suggested.
"I'm not going to bed," Rebecca announced. "I'm not leaving Dan."
"Rebecca, you need to be re-bandaged too," Agnes observed. "When Daniel hit you, he reopened your wound as well. Let the men tend to him while I tend to you. When that's done you can return to him. Please, Rebecca."
Nodding her head, Rebecca slowly rose. She walked a few steps then stopped to peer over her shoulder at her trembling husband. Without a word, she returned to her bed, awaiting Agnes' attention as she came bearing fresh bandages for her.
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With his strength waning, Daniel fought on nonetheless. Challenging himself to continue, he found he could not. He ceased his struggles as complete exhaustion took hold. Breathing hard, he lay on the floor, knowing he had lost Rebecca.
"Becky...dead."
Daniel heard the voice, but wasn't sure who it was that spoke as his heartbeat pounded so loudly that it drowned out almost any sound. Was it Cincinnatus he heard? When Daniel realized what the voice said he felt despair fall on him like pouring rain. Becky was dead. She was dead. His hopes that were once so high plunged to the depths of despondency. It was all some kind of cruel joke that had been played on him to make him believe Rebecca was alive. She was dead and he let her die. Guilt and grief reached out for him and sunk their icy fingers into him so deep that a coldness cascaded throughout his entire being. It caused him to shiver. He longed for Rebecca's warmth, to be near her, and to feel her touch. Crawling to the fireplace, Daniel withdrew a handful of ashes and sifted them through his fingers as tears sprung into his eyes. "Ashes," he whispered. "Nothin' left except ashes."
************************************
The next day, Adam left to report to General Washington. He disliked leaving so soon, but he was duty bound and Rebecca certainly wasn't up to entertaining. After Adam departed, Rebecca sat in the chair beside Daniel's bed. He had remained very quiet since yesterday's events, disturbingly so. There had been no more moans or stirs. Had the fight gone out of him? Was he giving up?
"Daniel Boone," Rebecca told him. "You listen to me. Don't stop fighting. You come back to me, you hear? I won't live without you. You promised to look after me. I'm holding you to that promise."
************************************
Pa?"
Daniel was lying upon his stomach under the shade of an oak tree on a bright sunny day. Having left the tavern, he sought the sanctuary of the woods and to find his Becky. After traveling so far, he had fallen asleep with the intention of resting for only a moment before continuing the search for Rebecca. He turned to his side to see a teenage boy standing beside him. The boy helped him sit up and then sat beside him. His smile was crooked and his unruly reddish-brown hair blew in the wind. His green eyes shone at the man he called 'Pa'.
"William?" Daniel asked.
The boy nodded, his grin was a pleasure to behold. "Howdy, Pa," William said, then his smile disappeared. "Pa, you feelin' all right? You don't look so good."
"Passable," Daniel replied, knowing he probably looked like something left out in the sun too long. "It's good to see you again, son."
"Been a long time, Pa," William agreed. "Thirteen years to be exact."
"I hadn't realized it had been that long," Daniel admitted. "You were only a few days old when you di-"
"How's Jemima?" William interrupted with a question.
"She's fine. Married now," Daniel informed him.
"I'm happy for her. I hope she's happy. She marry a good man, Pa?" William asked.
"Yes. Both your ma and I approved," Daniel said.
"How's Ma?" William inquired.
Daniel bowed his head and buried his face into his hands. He felt William tug at his neck. "Ma's dead, isn't she, Pa?" William concluded.
Nodding his head, Daniel wept quietly.
"How'd she die, Pa?" William asked.
"Shot through the stomach," Daniel said without elaboration. He was composed now. Then a thought occurred to him. "William, have you seen her?" he asked, raising his head. His cheeks still wet from tears as he looked at the teenage likeness of himself.
"No, Pa. I haven't seen Ma since I was a baby," William answered.
"Then maybe that means she's still alive," Daniel said hopefully.
"Sure, Pa, that what it means. Ma's alive," William readily agreed.
Daniel stood to his feet as William followed him. "William, had she died, you and her would have met up by now. After you died, she told me that once she reached heaven, she was going to find her moppy-haired baby boy."
"Yeah? That's real nice of her. I'd like to see her again. But, like I said, Pa, I haven't seen her," William said with a smile. Then his lips drew together and his eyebrows narrowed. His face revealed how serious he had become. "You don't think she went to the bad place, do you, Pa?" he asked in alarm.
"William!" Daniel said astonished. "Your ma's a good Christian woman. The finest there ever was. If she died, she went straight to Heaven."
Grinning, William wiped his brow. "Whew! That's a relief. The thought of my ma in the bad place is too horrible to think about."
"Perish the thought, William," Daniel said chagrined at his poor choice of words. He then continued to voice his thought. "I don't really believe your ma's dead," he stated to his son.
"You told me she was. Pa, you're confusing me," William said.
"She called to me. I heard her voice and I've seen her. It was like seeing her through a cloud, but I did see her. She even held me," Daniel explained.
William rubbed his chin with an index finger and looked as if he was in deep thought. "Um, maybe you hit your head, Pa. Ma said you were always doing that. As soon as you wake up, you'll see Ma clear as freshly drawn spring water."
"It's not that simple, William. I wish it were," Daniel said without any humor, "because if it was I would have your ma and your brother back and I would be whole again."
"Brother?" William queried. "I have a little brother?"
"You wouldn't know about him, would you? His name is Israel," Daniel informed him.
Smiling, William said, "How about that? I have a baby brother. What's he like, Pa?"
"He's a smart boy and full of life. He drives your ma to distraction. In many ways, he reminds me of your ma and other ways he reminds me of me," Daniel replied.
"What does he look like?" William asked.
"He's got blond hair and blue eyes," Daniel answered.
"Well, with you and ma for parents, he'll make out all right," William concluded.
"Son, I'm going to look for your ma. Care to join me?" Daniel asked.
"Sure, Pa. Which direction should we start?" William asked.
"East. Towards the mountain," Daniel suggested.
"I'm right beside you, Pa," William said as the two of them walked east looking for Rebecca.
As they hiked through the woods, Daniel took pleasure in William's company. He was everything Daniel had imagined he would be. For the time he was with William, the torment he had experienced was kept at bay. He found renewed hope. Rebecca wasn't dead. She was alive somewhere and he was determined to find her.
They climbed the rough mountainside and William helped Daniel when the angle was too steep for him to handle alone with his bad leg. At last, they stood on the crest and surveyed their surroundings. They could see the mountainous country for miles. It was a sight to behold.
Panting and sweating, Daniel eased himself onto an outcropping.
"Beautiful, isn't Pa?" William asked, grinning and looking about.
"Yes," Daniel agreed. "But not as beautiful as your ma's smile or the way her hair shines in the sun."
"Or the sound of her voice when she sang to me," William added.
"That too," Daniel agreed. "William, how is it you're not winded?"
"'Cause I'm not hurtin' like you, Pa," William answered. "You know, way deep inside - in your soul."
Nodding, Daniel picked up a handful of dirt and then let it slide through his opened hand. "I never thought it was possible for me to hurt like this, William," he said as his eyes began to tear.
William sat beside him and threw an arm around his shoulder.
"There's something I need to tell you. Something you need to know," Daniel said, accepting the comfort William offered.
"What is it, Pa? William asked.
"I let your ma die," Daniel admitted.
"You mean, if Ma died, you allowed it?" William prodded.
"Yes, if your ma is dead, I let it happen," Daniel said.
"Well, if you let Ma die, then what do you think Ma thinks about it?" William inquired as Daniel looked on puzzled as to what he meant. William noticed and said, "What I mean is, Ma wouldn't have thought you let her die and if she did, she's already forgiven you."
"That's not the point, William," Daniel explained. "The fact remains that I let your Ma die."
"If she died," William quickly added.
"If," Daniel said pondering the word. He limped towards a tree. He took a hold of a high branch with his right arm as his sore left one wouldn't extend that high. "This situation is so confusing. Nothing makes sense. I don't know for sure your ma's dead. I buried her so she's gotta be dead, but I see and hear her too at times. Part of me tells me she's alive and the other part says she isn't. I don't know what to believe. There aren't any clear tracks to follow. I have at best suspicions to lead me to the truth."
Then he thought of the words he had spoken to Rebecca when he contemplated what to do about his old friend Will Carey who had been accused by the Cherokee for killing their braves, who were hardly more than boys. He remembered the conflict of trying to come to terms with the decision that the friend he remembered could actually be a butcher of innocents. During that time of uncertainty, he had told Rebecca, "Not much to go on. Feelings. Guesses. It's like tryin' to grab a handful of smoke." Her sage advice came to his mind's eye. "Find your truth, Dan. You're the only one that can." This situation was similar.
"Pa," William said, coming to stand in front of Daniel. "I don't have any answers for you, but I do know this, if you keep on searching and don't give up, you'll find the truth and as the Good Book says 'the truth shall set you free.'"
"Even if that truth is that your ma's dead and I let her die? Where's the freedom in knowing that, William?" Daniel asked.
"At least, you'd know for certain what happened to Ma," William pointed out.
"It won't make it any easier to live with," Daniel said. "How is it that you don't blame me for your ma's death? That is, if'n she is dead."
"If we know for sure you let Ma die, then I'll blame you. Not before," William declared.
"Sometimes I think this is just some horrible nightmare," Daniel continued as if he didn't hear what William had said, "and I'll wake up and find your ma's beautiful face beamin' at me. I reckon that's too much to hope for."
"Sometimes, Pa, that's all us mortals have," William said wisely. "And a good thing it is too, without it-" "We'd just be another animal," Daniel finished, knowing he had spoken those words before. "All right, William, we've dawdled long enough. The truth is somewhere on the mountain top. I aim to learn it."
"I'm ready when you are," William said brightly.
Daniel led the way through the rough terrain with William following easily behind. The boy could practically sprint up the mountain Daniel thought, but he kept the pace the woodsman had set.
They hiked for a considerable amount of time before Daniel's leg began to throb and ache. He limped, but refused to stop.
"Pa, reckon you should rest?" William asked. "Your leg isn't doin' too good."
"No, we gotta find your ma," Daniel said before his leg gave out and he fell heavily to the ground.
"Pa, you all right?" William asked. "Did you hit your head?"
"I'm fine, son. Help me up," Daniel said.
"Don't reckon you oughta do that, Pa. Your leg's plumb wore out. Reckon you ought to rest it a spell," William advised.
"William, I'm gettin' up with or without your help," Daniel declared. William assisted Daniel to his feet, but he could tell the boy did it begrudgingly. "Thank you, son. You should know better than to try to correct me. A young boy like you doesn't know if I can walk or not," Daniel admonished gently.
"Yes, Pa," William said submissively.
Daniel took several steps and began to limp again as the pain increased with every step.
"Pa, you gotta rest your leg," William said.
"No, we're almost to the mountain top. You're ma's there I know it," Daniel said with urgency as his pace slowed to a crawl. He grabbed his leg when pain became intense.
"Please, Pa, you gotta rest it," William pleaded, holding his father about the waist.
"Dan?"
"Becky?" Daniel said when heard Rebecca's voice. He balanced on his good leg as William kept a secure grip on him. "William, your ma called my name. Did you hear her?" he asked.
"No, Pa," William said as he assisted Daniel to the ground. "Tell her I said - howdy."
************************************
"Dan? Dan?" Rebecca said as Cincinnatus changed the bandage on Daniel's leg. He had begun to stir when Cincinnatus applied a fresh poultice and re-wrapped the wound.
"That should hold him awhile," Cincinnatus said, placing the blanket over his leg.
"Bec..ky?" Daniel said, his voice stronger than it had been. His moved his body about as if he was struggling to awaken.
"Dan? Dan, lay still. You could start bleeding if you move around too much," Rebecca advised him, although she doubted he would do it.
"Becky," Daniel said as his eyes came open and he grew still. They were glazed over and Rebecca knew he wasn't alert just yet, but this was the best he had been since the day before.
"Dan, I'm here. You're going to be all right," Rebecca assured him, touching his face.
"Becky, are you all right?" Daniel asked, his voice hoarse.
"I'm fine, Dan," Rebecca answered, hoping a little exaggeration was acceptable.
"William says howdy," Daniel suddenly told her.
Not understanding, Rebecca looked towards Cincinnatus, who merely shrugged. "Dan, who is William?" she asked.
"William Boone, our son," Daniel replied, managing a croak. He was finding it difficult to talk.
"William," Rebecca whispered, knowing exactly who Daniel was talking about.
"You have a son named William?" Cincinnatus asked unclear as to what this revelation meant.
"William was born a few years after Jemima. He died only four short days after his birth. He looked so much like Dan with that full head of brown hair. We were blessed for having him for as long as we did," Rebecca answered. Turning back towards Daniel, Rebecca said, "Tell William howdy and send him my love." She thought it best to humor Daniel.
************************************
"Your ma says howdy and she loves you," Daniel relayed Rebecca's sentiment to the happy boy sitting beside him.
"Tell her I love her and thank her for the lullabies she sung to me," William requested.
************************************
"William says he loves you and thanks you for singing to him," Daniel said hoarsely.
Rebecca smiled. She knew Daniel was dreaming, but it still did her heart good to think it possible that her baby son remembered the lullabies she sang to him. "Dan, it's time to come out of the woods. It's time to come home. Israel and I need you," she urged him.
************************************
"Your ma wants me to come home," Daniel told William.
"What are you waiting for, Pa? Go home," William said, rising. "I gotta go home too."
Daniel stood up with William's assistance. There was sadness in the woodsman's face. "Will I ever see you again?" he asked.
Smiling, William answered, "Aw, shucks, Pa, sure you will. You know what the Good Book says. 'For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth on Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.' Do that and we'll be seein' each other again."
Daniel embraced his son. "I'll see you later then," he told him.
"Make it much later, Pa. I want my baby brother to grow up with you there for him," William said.
"I'm sorry I didn't get to see you grow up," Daniel said with regret.
"Pa, I want for nothing. I'm surrounded by perfect love. There is only happiness, joy, and peace. You could never provide that. Go to Ma and Israel. Make their lives a heaven on earth," William suggested.
Nodding, Daniel said, "I will."
"One more thing, Pa. God says he'd like to hear from you more often. He enjoys the sound of your voice when you talk to Him especially when you say 'there's a mite more to the Almighty than might,'" William said, his grin stretching from ear to ear. "Take care, Pa," William said, hugged Daniel once more, and scampered joyfully into the woods.
Daniel watched him until he disappeared behind a tall stand of trees.
************************************
"Dan? Wake up now," Rebecca urged as she watched Daniel's eyelids flutter. His eyes were clear and had their normal green color. Cincinnatus had left the two of them alone thinking three was a crowd. "Becky," Daniel said with relief. "Becky. Becky, you're alive. I thought I lost you for good." He struggled to sit up.
"Dan, no, stay flat," Rebecca strongly suggested, putting her hands on his shoulders to hold him down.
"Becky, I'm sittin' up with or without your help," Daniel said with determination.
Rebecca assisted him and then sat beside him.
Daniel looked into her beautiful face and tears welled in his eyes. "Becky, thank God, you're alive," he stated and held her in his arms as she returned his embrace. Her warmth enveloped him and he basked in it. The torrential rain of guilt, shame, and confusion that had been ever-present with him evaporated and he bid it good riddance. His wife was alive. Rebecca was alive.
Rebecca was alive.
Daniel was in a state of pure exaltation. He had sought and found the truth. There was no more need to guess what was real and what wasn't. Uncertainty had been transformed into the confidence of knowing. The nightmare he experienced was over. Strange, he thought, how a dream, albeit a bad one, had seemed so real, but not so convincing that he totally believed Rebecca was dead. There was always some part of him that wouldn't or couldn't accept that Rebecca had been taken from him.
Rebecca was alive.
His world was almost the way he would have it. Rebecca had been injured, which brought him dismay, but he was comforted that she had recovered. His injuries, however, were taking more time. Having reviewed the situation to determine how he would have prevented her being wounded, he decided she had been right about keeping the documents at the fort. He had seriously underestimated the danger they posed and Rebecca was shot as a result. He had apologized to her and she had forgiven without hesitation although she had been playfully smug about it, which only served to bring a smile to his lips.
Rebecca was alive.
Surrounded by family and friends, Daniel knew he was a rich and grateful man. He had learned that Mingo remained close to the cabin to offer assistance in any way he could during the days following the shooting. Cincinnatus cared for Rebecca and himself like no other could. Agnes tended to Rebecca, Israel, and their needs. It was the way it should be. Friends helping friends in a moment of crisis. Their actions stood in contrast to those people in his dream, which Daniel remembered only bits. He clearly recalled Mingo's insistence that Rebecca was dead, Cincinnatus saying the same, and Adam more concerned with pieces of paper than his wife. He realized that the words they spoke were his guilty conscience placed in their mouths. With William, however, it had been different. His innocent child would not accuse him of anything. He acted like his mother and attempted to comfort him. Perhaps, Rebecca got through to him in his unconscious state and took the form of William in his dream. It didn't matter, really. What did, was that Rebecca was with him now and for the future. He was determined that they would see Israel grown and married, and then they would grow old together, enjoying each other's company like never before. Their love for each other had been deepened by this experience, and Daniel vowed it would blossom even more. She still had much to teach him including, how to be a proper husband, a chore than could stretch into hundreds of lifetimes.
Rebecca was alive.
Every day he spent with Rebecca he counted as a blessing. Not a single day passed that he didn't thank God for the mercy he had shown by sparing his wife. Even now Rebecca beamed at him from her rocker as he limped to the fireplace to add wood. He couldn't get enough of her smile or her presence. She had been at his side, helping him recover. His progress was remarkable, but not as speedy as he would have liked. All that remained was the slight limp and soreness in his chest. Although he hadn't been the best patient, she had been patient with him until one day she had reached the boiling point, and then she gave him a piece of her mind. All he had been able to do was smile back at her. That was his Becky. His vibrant Becky. His vivacious Becky. Placing the wood into the fire, Daniel stared into it, watching the wood turn to ash. The he rose and went to his wife, who stood when he drew near. He embraced her and lovingly kissed her for sometime. Then he thought. Ashes. My life that isn't because Rebecca is alive.
THE END
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