Howdy Do, Kinfolk: Chapter 6
by Tami B.
Disclaimer: The following work has been written solely for the enjoyment of fans and not for monetary profit. The rights to the characters initially created for the Daniel Boone series belong to 20th Century Fox and Fess Parker. All other characters are of the author's own creation. No copyright violation is intended.
A small band of four people, only one of which wore a feather, moved through the forest in relative silence, stalking their cunning and stealthy prey with great determination. There was one member of the band who knew he was even more cunning than the one they hunted. It was a known fact that no Cherokee could outsmart Carolina E. Yadkin on his worst day, and this day was shaping up to be a very good one.
"This way," Yadkin whispered as he came up from a kneeling position and pointed to his left.
"How do you know he went thata way?" Dineen asked.
"I'll show you," he told his niece as he motioned for the group to follow him. He pointed to the ground. "See this track?" Three heads nodded. "That's a moccasin print. Mingo's moccasin print to be exact. Now, come over here." He led them back to their original position. "There's another print here." He pointed with his foot at it this time. "And here at my waist level is a broken branch on this little tree. How the branch is broken shows the direction he was goin'. He was headin' north, but turned west at this tree. Mighty sloppy of him to leave such an obvious mark."
"My," Darla said, "you are very intelligent. I am impressed. You have a great deal of knowledge about tracking and foraging-"
Yadkin grinned broadly.
"For a backwoodsman," she added quickly, and watched as his smile turned to a frown.
"For anybody," Gillam corrected.
Yadkin patted the boy's shoulder. "That's right, boy. That's right," he confirmed. He grinned again.
"You've taught us so much about the woods in just one mornin'," Dineen piped in. "Trackin'. Huntin'. Stalkin'. But my favorite is trackin' Mingo."
"Mine too," Darla said dreamily. .
"I can't wait to capture him," Gillam added as he rubbed his hands together in gleeful anticipation.
"Me too," the girls said in unison. Then they laughed.
Yadkin rolled his eyes at the lovestruck teenagers and then turned towards the West to pick up Mingo's trail. He crept silently forward unaware that behind him Dineen and Darla were jostling each other to get in as close to him as possible. Each wanted to be the first to reach Mingo. They pushed and shoved each other several times until they ended up next to Gillam. Then, Dineen pushed Darla into him and he landed heavily on the ground.
Sitting on his posterior, the boy pounded his small fist against the hard earth. Then he came to his feet ready for a fight. He raised his clenched fingers in front of him and shouted, "Hey, you stinkin' girl-dogs! Nobody knocks me to the ground and gets away with it! You're goin' to pay!" With that, he charged and landed a punch on Darla's arm. The girl gasped, unable to believe her brother would actually strike her in the presence of their uncle. Dineen ran knowing she was next, and Gillam chased after her.
Hearing the commotion behind him, Yadkin halted his progress. He turned around to see Darla rubbing her arm and Dineen falling to the ground. Gillam had taken advantage of the opportunity to deliver a punch to her shoulder.
"What the devil is goin' on here?" Yadkin asked. He looked to Darla for an answer. She shrugged her shoulders. "A lot of help, you ain't. Stay put," he ordered, "while I check on Dineen." As he trotted towards his other niece, he saw that she was slowly getting to her feet. He hoped she wasn't hurt. As she came to her feet, Gillam swung an arm back to strike her again. Yadkin grabbed the boy's wrist and held it fast. "Boy, I wouldn't do that if I were you," he warned.
"But them girls pushed me first," Gillam protested.
"Not another word, boy. I'll get the whole story when I got the three of you all together. Go stand beside Darla," Yadkin said firmly, pointing in the direction Gillam should follow.
Gillam hesitated and struck a defiant pose.
"Now! I said. Move!" Yadkin shouted sternly.
No longer feeling brave or insolent, Gillam did as he was ordered and dashed to Darla.
"That little toad," Dineen said angrily. "He made Princess Dino rip her grand purple skirt." She held open the small tear that was on the seam near her knee.
"Your ma or Lydia can mend it," Yadkin said. "Are you all right?" He watched as she nodded. "C'mon then. I can't wait to hear what started this ruckus between the three of you."
Once they were all together, Yadkin made Dineen stand beside Gillam. Then the tall woodsman leaned on his long rifle and pushed his tricorn hat to the back of his head. "What went on here? You start," he pointed to Darla and then rested that hand over the one that held the rifle, "and as for the rest of you, every one of you needs to keep their bear trap of a mouth shut."
"All that happened, Uncle Carolina," Darla said pleasantly, "was that I was trying to get as close to you as I could, so I wouldn't miss out on anything you were teaching us. Dineen was blocking my way and would not move out of it . As I was moving past her, she shoved me."
"That's a lie!" Dineen shouted. "It was you that pushed me, and I should be the one closest to Uncle Carolina. After all, I am the princess."
"You ain't no princess," Gillam addressed Dineen. "You stinkin' girl-dogs pushed me down when I didn't do nothin'."
"Didn't do nothin'?" Yadkin asked in disbelief. "Boy, I saw you hit Dineen."
"That's because she pushed me, and Darla did to, and I don't gotta take that from them," Gillam countered "They're stinkin' girl-dogs and they should be whipped like one."
"Is that so?" Darla countered. "You're a toad who should be drowned in the pond from which you were spawned."
"Yeah," Dineen agreed.
"You can't drown me. I can hold my breath forever," Gillam said and then stuck out his tongue.
"Enough," Yadkin commanded; his voice harsh. "I told you young 'uns before we lit out to the woods that there weren't goin' be any arguin', fussin', or fightin'. I ain't your ma and I ain't puttin' up with it. When we get home, you'll be punished 'cause I told you that if there was one peep of trouble from the three of you, then you'd be real sorry. Remember that stack of firewood by the cabin?" Three heads nodded. "You'll move the stack from one side to the other."
"But, Uncle Carolina, that firewood is almost to the roof," Darla pointed out.
"And I'm a princess. I can't do work like that," Dineen said.
"I'm too little," Gillam stated matter-of-factly.
"You three troublemakers will move that firewood, one split log at a time, to the other side of the cabin, and you'll do it together, and not a word will pass between the three of you while you do it," Yadkin said. He narrowed his eyes. "If'n you don't, then I have other ways to punish you that I learnt from the Shawnee, and them ways ain't pleasant. Nope, not pleasant at all. So, you either move the firewood like I told you, or else face somethin' much worse."
"Aw, gee, Uncle Carolina," Gillam pleaded, "couldn't we just say we're sorry to you and each other, and not get punished?"
"No," Yadkin replied. "You young 'uns need to be learnt a lesson." After a moment's pause, he suddenly broke out in laughter.
The three children looked at each other wondering what had so amused their uncle.
Yadkin held his side as his laughter subsided. "I was just thinkin' back to when I was Dineen's age. I came home from huntin' and it was one of those dark moonless nights. Right after I had set the deer down, my younger brother York came out of the cabin and hit me in the face. I landed on my backside. Then, he came after me again; his hands goin' for my throat. That's when your ma came runnin' out of the house and tried separatin' us. All she got for her trouble was York throwin' her into the split- rail fence. He and I traded blows until Virginia got in the middle of us. We knew better than to hit her, or Pa woulda worn out his leather strap on the both of us. After she got the fight stopped, she asked us what we were fightin' about."
He lifted his rifle and balanced it on his shoulder. "York opens his eyes wide and sees for the first time it was me, his brother, that he was fightin. He thought I was one of Virginia's friends, Herbert, who she was sweet on at the time and who York didn't like. When your ma found out that York wanted to fight Herbert, she picked up a stick and hit him with it until he ran from her. Then, she chased him all over the yard, yelling at him to leave her Herbert alone. Too bad, though, that Pa stopped her from chasin' York. It was fun watchin' them. The next time Herbert came to the cabin Pa sent York to cut firewood so's they wouldn't fight."
After the children laughed at the story, Darla asked, "Why didn't Ma court Herbert?"
"They moved the next year," Yadkin replied. "York was happy to see him go, but your ma was sad for a month or two, until she got sweet on Dan'l Boone."
"You mean, Mr. Boone? Daniel Boone?" Darla asked incredulously.
"Yep, Dan'l never knew it 'cause your ma never told him. It all started the year Dan'l came home from a winter hunt, packin' a fortune in furs, and your ma thought him quite the man. Dan'l was all of seventeen then. Within three months, your ma switched to likin' somebody else. She kept at that, likin' a feller a spell before movin' on the next, until she met your pa, Paul Jenkins. After that, she stuck to that man like a tick to a dog's hide."
"Gosh," Gillam said, "Dan'l Boone coulda been our pa."
"Yeah, but you know what's better than that?" Dineen asked. When no answer came immediately, she approached Yadkin and took his hand. "We got Uncle Carolina as kin." She turned and looked him in the face. "You're the best uncle we have, and the best uncle in the world."
Yadkin stared at his niece uncertain as to what to say. Her high praise had quite overwhelmed him. "Thank you, princess," he said gently. "That's mighty kind of you to say. Mighty kind."
With one fluid motion, Dineen wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Uncle Carolina," she said, "with all my heart."
After she released him, he looked at her. Her large eyes were shining and she wore a smile that could have melted ice on a frigid winter night. "I-I-I," he stammered. Then, he cleared his throat. "I love you too." He had always had trouble saying those three little words. This time it had been so traumatic that he had broken out in a sweat. He was more anxious than ever now to track Mingo and escape this uncomfortable situation. "Let's go, young 'uns. We gotta find Mingo."
"Uncle Carolina?" Gillam asked. "We don't' have to."
He followed the boy's pointing finger and saw the Cherokee approaching.
"Did you forget me"? Mingo asked as he came to stand beside them.
"No, we could never do that," Darla said as she took a hold of the tall Cherokee's hand.
Not to be outdone, Dineen moved quickly to take his other hand. "No, we could never forget about you, Mingo."
The Cherokee sighed as Yadkin grinned broadly. "Mingo, I tell you what I'm a'goin' to do. You take the girls with you, and Gilly and I will track the three of you."
"Oh no, " Mingo said with a shake of his head and a look of horror on his face. "I do not think that is a good idea."
"I think it is an excellent idea," Darla said and squeezed Mingo's hand. "But, perhaps, Dineen could accompany you, Uncle Carolina."
"No," Dineen protested, "if Darla gets to go with Mingo, I get to go with him too."
"You see, Mingo, the girls are wantin' to be with you," Yadkin said. "Gilly and I will turn our backs and y'all can leave so's we won't know which direction you go." He spun Gillam around and they waited for the trio to move away.
Mingo gave the back of Yadkin's head a hard look and then walked his admirers, who still held his hands, towards the west.
Not long afterwards, Mingo stopped to look behind him. Yadkin and Gillam shouldn't have been close, but he had a sense that they were. " Girls, we must move quickly or your uncle and brother will soon be upon us."
"Aw, they're probably way far away. You made it real hard for him to find us," Dineen stated.
"It will not be that difficult for your uncle to follow our trail. We will now try to throw him off by turning south instead of continuing our trek to the north. Perhaps, we can fool him by eventually moving in behind him."
Darla smiled. "And if you maneuver us to the rear, then you will have outsmarted him. Is that correct?"
Mingo nodded and motioned for the girls to follow him, but as had happened other times, the girls moved to either side of him, which made concealing their tracks practically impossible. After traveling a short distance, Mingo led his small band to a narrow trail. Taking it forced the girls into single file as there simply wasn't any room to walk beside him. A short time later as they emerged from the trail, Mingo stepped into a clearing. He had drawn ahead of the girls. He turned to see if they were following and as he did, his foot landed on a stretch of ground that gave way beneath him. Unexpectedly, he plummeted to the bottom of a natural well.
The girls heard a splash, followed by a dog barking. The sound came from nearby. They came to stand near the hole in the ground in time to see Puppy Dog approaching. The canine circled the hole and them as he continued to bark relentlessly.
"Yahoo! Yahoo!" Jack Miller shouted on the run, waving a coiled rope above his head. "I trapped me a bear! I got me a bear!" He broke out of the woods and joined the others at the deep natural well. His smile vanished when he gazed down to see Mingo standing in knee-deep water. He was completely wet and dripping and didn't look at all happy. "That ain't no bear," Jack said in disappointment. "All I got is an Indian." Noticing that Puppy Dog was still barking, he ordered him to hush.
"Jack, please, you must get him out of there. He could be hurt," Darla begged. "Mingo, are you hurt?" she asked suddenly as it occurred to her that she didn't know his condition.
"No," Mingo answered. "Just wet."
Jack secured one end of the rope to a tree and then threw the other end down to Mingo.
After tying the rope around his chest, Mingo looked up to see a grinning Yadkin and Gillam gazing at him. "Very cunning, Mingo," Yadkin said. "I would've lost your tracks for sure in this here hole." He laughed and then helped Jack haul the Cherokee up.
Once Mingo was on solid ground again, he began to work himself out of the rope. Darla and Dineen stood nearby ready to help if he should ask. They frowned when he bent his head to work the knots out of the rope and noticed that his feathers were broken in the middle and dripping great drops of water.
"Oh, Mingo," Dineen said sadly, "your feathers got broke."
"Better my feathers than my person," Mingo stated. He noticed that a puddle of water was pooling at his feet.
"Only you," Yadkin said as he came to stand before Mingo, "could get trapped in one of Jack Miller's traps. You know that boy can't trap nothin'."
"What do you mean I can't trap nothin'?" Jack asked. "I just trapped Mingo. That's somethin'. I covered that hole with branches, rocks, and dirt, and Mingo stepped right through it just like a bear would have done - if'n one had come by."
"Boy, you couldn't catch a varmint layin' in your lap," Yadkin pointed out.
It was precisely at that moment that Puppy Dog noted Yadkin's callous tone and charged him.
Yadkin saw him coming and began to scramble away. "Jack! Call that fool dog of yours off!"
Jack didn't, so the dog kept coming. Yadkin ran as fast as he could away from it. The dog was right on heels, barking excitedly. "Jack! Call this fool dog off! Temper that hound, will ya!" he hollered.
The group laughed as Yadkin and the dog disappeared from sight with Yadkin still yelling Jack's name.
With his heels resting high on the trunk of a tree, Yadkin rocked the chair he was sitting on back so it rested on two legs and watched his two nieces and nephew carry firewood from one side of the cabin to the other in total silence. After a day in the woods, and now hauling firewood, the trio were too exhausted to break into an argument of any kind. He smiled at his own ingeniousness. He had devised a method that kept them in line and quiet at one and the same time.
Virginia emerged from the cabin and Gillam quickly came to her. He reached for her hand. "Ma, can't we stop now? My arms and feet hurt," he complained.
She went to the side of the cabin where Darla and Dineen awaited her decision. "Gilly, there's still firewood here. You and your sisters are to move all the firewood to the other side of the cabin."
"But, Ma-" Dineen whined.
While holding up her hand, Virginia turned and walked away from her children . They went immediately back to work having decided that the adults were not going to give in, and the sooner they got it done the better.
"Carolina, I believe you are part Egyptian taskmaster, ," Virginia whispered with a slight smile on her face as she came to stand beside him. "Though, I think even they treated the Israelites better than you have these; your kinfolk. You're goin' to work those young 'uns into the ground."
"They're your young 'uns, Virginia," Yadkin said. "You can give them leave to quit, if'n you want."
"No," she decided, "they gotta learn to behave, and this is as good a way as any. How many times did Pa make you tote firewood?"
Yadkin turned to face her and smiled. "Too many times to count," he said. "Though York toted more than I had to. He was the really bad boy. And, as I recall, you never had to move firewood once, because you were little miss perfect Virginia," he teased , "who never got into trouble."
"That's right," Virginia agreed, "And I was always Pa's favorite."
"You're were until Duchess came along," Yadkin pointed out.
"That's where you're wrong, dear brother," Virginia argued. "I was always Pa's favorite even after Duchess was born. You were always Ma's favorite."
"Nope, I was Ma's favorite until Baron was born," he countered.
"Carolina E. Yadkin, you were always Ma's favorite," she insisted loudly as her children stopped their work to see what had caused her to shout. "The first time you went on a winter hunt and was gone away for months and months, she fretted about you. It didn't matter that you were with Dan'l, 'cause she thought he would get you into trouble, and you'd never come home in one piece again."
"Virginia that don't prove I was always Ma's favorite."
"Yes, it does," she insisted. "She neglected Baron the whole time you were gone. I had to be 'ma' to him until you got back, and she saw you were whole."
Yadkin began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Virginia asked.
"We sound like your arguin' young 'uns," Yadkin replied. Then, he noticed that the children had stopped working and were loitering near the cabin door. "Get back to work!" he ordered.
They scrambled hurriedly to do as he said, because they knew if they didn't, that some horrible Shawnee torture would be theirs. .
After Virginia had chortled over what her brother said and how he had commanded the children, she laid a hand on the back of his chair. "Maybe my young 'uns argue 'cause it's the Yadkin way, Carolina. We've always talked this way to one another, but there was never any meanness in it."
"Just orneriness," Yadkin said as he pushed his tricorn hat to the back of his head. "Virginia, those young 'uns of yours; once I got to know 'em - Well, they ain't so bad.." He remembered how Dineen had told him that she loved him. He knew she was being honest with him. That simple act had touched the deepest part of his soul.
"Maybe you'll miss us after we leave in a couple of days," Virginia stated.
Yadkin came out of his chair and stood beside his sister. He had waited ever since she had arrived to hear those words, and now that the time had come, he wasn't sure he wanted her or the rest of her clan to go. "Virginia, are you sure?"
"Yes. I need to get home and tell Paul about the baby. I'm longin' to be with him too," Virginia replied. as she circled his waist with her arm. "I am goin' to miss the Boones, Boonesborough, you," she laughed, "and your mustache. Maybe the baby will be born with one. Then, I'll have a constant reminder of you, my dear, dear brother."
"I think instead you should wish for the baby to be born with my charm," Yadkin suggested, puffing up his chest.
"If you had any that would be a nice wish, but the best I can hope for is the mustache," Virginia laughed.
Yadkin grinned as they both turned to watch the children continue to stack the firewood. "Look at them young 'uns, workin' together. They're as quiet as a wounded Cherokee in Shawnee territory." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I got a way with young 'uns. They know they best obey, or they're bound to be doin' somethin' they'd rather not. Discipline is what those young 'uns need."
"Ooooooh, that's a mighty big word for you, Carolina. Discipline. Where'd you learn it?"
He scratched the back of his head. "The truth be told, I learnt it from Mingo. He's always spoutin' out those high-falutin' words. I reckon I picked up one."
"I'll be sure to tell Paul that we can send our young 'uns to you for," Virginia paused for effect, "discipline." Then she laughed.
As Gillam dashed towards them, Yadkin pursed his lips. He knew his sister was mocking him, but opted to let her have her fun. He would get his revenge later; if there was time before she left for home.
"Look, Ma, we got that chore done," Gillam proclaimed with pride as he pointed to the neatly stacked stand of firewood.
"And a fine job you and the girls did, Gilly," she said to him. She pulled him close as the girls joined them. She had spoken loudly enough that her words had traveled to Darla and Dineen's ears. .
"Mother, Gillam's labors were not as intensive as ours. Did you not notice at times, Uncle Carolina, that he deliberately became inattentive to his duty?" Darla asked.
Yadkin had a fair idea of what Darla was complaining about. He had observed them carefully and made sure all three pulled their weight. Gillam had, at times, dragged his feet, but icy stares from his uncle had soon sent him scurrying back to his chore. "Are you fussin' about somethin'? 'Cause if'n you are, I reckon I'd rather have that firewood back where it was."
"No, Uncle Carolina, I am not voicing an objection to anything," Darla answered hurriedly, fearing she might have to stack firewood all by herself. "Please forget I even spoke."
"Forgotten," Yadkin said, smiling.
"Ma, is it true? Is it really true?" Dineen asked suddenly.
"Is what true?" Virginia looked at her daughter in confusion.
"That you were sweet on Mr. Boone a long time ago," Gillam answered.
Virginia's mouth opened wide, but no sound issued forth. Her cheeks burned and glowed red.
Yadkin covered his face with his hand. He knew he was headed for trouble.
"Carolina, did you tell them that?" Virginia asked, her hands went to her hips. She was mortified.
"I was just tellin' the young 'uns a story, and that part just sorta slipped out," Yadkin replied defensively.
"Is it true, Ma?" Dineen asked.
"That was our secret, Carolina." Virginia said as she angrily stomped her foot.
"I'm sorry, Virginia," Yadkin apologized. "It has been over twenty years since you had a crush on him. Why isn't it all right that the young 'uns know? Unless," he paused, "you're still sweet on him."
"Of course I am not!" Virginia screeched. "I love my Paul. But you broke our agreement." She looked down and saw just what she was needing. After snagging the twig, she said, "I'm goin' to switch you every which way but upside down."
"Now, Virginia," Yadkin said, backing away from her as she slowly and deliberately moved toward him, "you're just a mite upset. Think about what you're doin. Virginia? Are you hearin' me? Virginia?"
She marched closer and closer to him without saying a word. She didn't need to; her angry expression spoke volumes. Then, suddenly, she swung the branch and it caught his shoulder.
Before he could be struck on the backswing, Yadkin decided discretion was the better part of valor and headed into the woods. Virginia gave chase.
That left the children standing in a semi-circle. They continued to stare at the woods even though they could no longer see or hear their mother or uncle.
"Not fair," Dineen said and then pouted. "If we acted like that, we'd have to stack wood."
Gillam picked up a stick. "Not if they don't catch us." He moved towards Dineen, swinging the twig as he went.
"No! No!" Dineen screamed as she began to run away from him. "Leave me alone, you toad!"
Gillam let loose with an evil laugh and took a couple of steps to go after her. As he passed Darla, she snatched the stick from his upraised hand and laid it across his posterior. He yelped.
"Go back to your pond, toad," Darla suggested strongly and smirked.
The day of Virginia and her clan's departure had arrived. As he had promised, Yadkin and Alvin had hunted a deer and made enough venison to see them home to the colony of Virginia.
Daniel helped Yadkin and Alvin load the last of the items into the wagon. After that, Alvin left them to tie Virginia's horse to the back of the wagon.
Rebecca and Virginia stepped from Yadkin's cabin into the yard. "Now, remember your promise, Becky," Virginia reminded her, "you make Dan'l bring you and yours for a visit in say, seven or eight months. The baby should be born by then, and hopefully will be healthy. He or she should be ready to meet new friends by then."
"I'll make certain he does," Rebecca said as she embraced the other woman. "God be with you as you go home."
"He's always near," Virginia affirmed.
At the moment Rebecca and Virginia were saying their goodbyes, the others were doing the same. Darla and Dineen took turns exchanging embraces with Mingo until Alvin interceded and rescued him by simply extending his hand to the Cherokee.
Dineen went immediately to her uncle and held him close. "I'm goin' to miss you so much," she whispered in his ear. "Please come see us."
"I will, princess," he whispered back.
"Promise?" she asked.
"My word," he told her.
With a final squeeze of his neck, she ran to the wagon and climbed aboard . Yadkin followed and assisted her in. . She was followed by Lydia, Darla, and Gillam. When he turned around, Virginia stood before him. There were tears in her eyes. "Virginia, you're not goin' to take to bawlin', are you?" Yadkin asked.
"If I do, I do," she snapped, , but managed to maintain control of her emotions. She embraced him - not as tightly as Dineen had done - and held him close. "Take care of yourself, Carolina. I love you, dear brother."
Yadkin paused before he spoke. He was going to say those little words just right without stammering. "I love you too."
Virginia kissed his cheek and then walked the few steps to the head of the wagon. Her brother helped her to the seat and she sat down beside her son-in-law. Then, she looked in Rebecca's direction. The redhead was standing with her family, Mingo, and Yadkin. "It's not too late, Becky." She pointed to Darla, Dineen, and Gillam sitting in the back of the wagon. Then, she leveled her index finger at Jemima and Israel. Rebecca shook her head and smiled. Then she shrugged her shoulders as if to say 'I tried'. Obviously, Rebecca still wasn't willing to trade Jemima and Israel for the terrible trio. Virginia grinned. "Take us home, Alvin," She said as she smacked his leg lightly.
Alvin slapped the reins against the horses' backs and they began to move down the trail. Everyone waved to everybody else until they were out of sight.
"Well, Yad," Daniel said, "your cabin is now your own again. . You reckon you'll be lonesome?"
"Lonesome? Me? Carolina E. Yadkin, lonesome?" he asked, turning towards the tall frontiersman. "Not on your life, Dan'l. I was beginnin' to think that they'd never leave. It's back to bein' a bachelor. The kinda life I like best." He turned back to the trail. Virginia's wagon had disappeared from sight.
"Good-bye, kinfolk," he whispered wistfully, He was already feeling a little lost without them, but wasn't about to admit it to anyone. "It won't be long until we say ' Howdy do, kinfolk' again. I promise."
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